For Those Who Silently Suffer

A note from Kelsey: This post is for those who are co-survivors, care takers or have ever had experience with a loved one in your life who suffers from the debilitating disease that is addiction and/or mental illness. It's something we don't talk about enough- not just addiction and mental illness itself, but the plight of those who love someone who suffers from it. So this is for you. The people like me.

And let me preface this by saying, I am OK. I am more than OK actually. But sometimes its also OK to not be OK. To feel sad when things happens, to feel pain, to deal with real life problems. We are so quick to post the best versions of ourselves but it is equally as important that we talk about the not so pretty parts of life.

What I'm trying to say, is that it’s OK to be real ✌🏼

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Today I feel tired.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

Tired of feeling helpless. Guilty for taking care of myself.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

Tired of having to love someone backwards, turn my heart cold as their sobbing simultaneously rips it into shreds.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

Tired of not being able to save them.

Tired of them not wanting to save themselves.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The inconsolable pain. I wish I could fix you. ⁣⁣ ⁣

Tired of being the adult for the adult in my life.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

Of feeling scared to share my story- for fear of retribution, lack of acceptance.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

Today I am so tired of being so tired.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

But today, although I’m tired, I’m not too tired to share my journey.. not just the happy instagrammable moments, but also the not-so-pretty unfiltered ones.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣

It’s easy to feel alone while dealing with your afflictions.

So here’s a peep behind the curtain in hopes that maybe this helps even just one of you feel less so <3